Tantrums are messy, loud and can be overwhelming
By Doug Vollmayer and Angeline Jane via Bernabevia
For parents of toddlers, tantrums are messy, loud and can be overwhelming. They’re something that toddler moms Ana Florence and Chelsea Anderson know all too well.
“I have a 2-year-old — little Miss Rylee,” said Florence. “And she is constantly telling me ‘no.'”
“I’m willing to try anything,” added Anderson, who is a mom to two twin toddlers as well as two newborn twins. MORE: Sara Haines talks with mom who went viral with video on realities of motherhood
Having toddlers who constantly have tantrums can be a handful for all parents, but child therapist and mom-to-be Deena Margolin and parenting coach and mom of two Kristin Gallant, who are pros at taming tantrums, say your kids’ meltdowns can be managed.
“It doesn’t have to be that hard,” Gallant told “Good Morning America.”Editor’s Picks Top potty training tips from The Mom Psychologist Instagram ‘Dentist Mom’ shares her top tips to help navigate the challenges of baby teeth
To help parents, the two experts started “Big Little Feelings,” where they share their top tips for toddler problems with their nearly 270,000 followers. Topics include everything from separation anxiety and weaning off the pacifier to potty training.
Read on for some of their tips on how to deal with tantrums. MORE: Do little kids need ‘toddler milk?’: Here is what to know
Gallant said the most common trigger for a meltdown is transitioning from one activity to another, such as putting the iPad away to do something else. So, she suggests first to “OK the feeling.”
Gallant said to tell your toddler, “I hear that you’re sad that iPad is all done. It’s OK to feel sad.”
MORE: Simple ways to stop screens from taking over summer
Then, she said to “set the boundary” and stay firm that iPad time is over, no matter how hard they push or cry or yell.
The final step is to “shift to yes,” and tell them it’s time to do something else by saying, “It’s time to go outside. Do you want to play bubbles or do you want to do sandbox?,” said Gallant. “You’re taking their brains from ‘no, no, no,’ to ‘Oh, this is my choice. I get to go choose and do this next thing.'”
MORE: Can’t get your kids off their devices? These automatic kill switches can help
For toddlers that get upset about transitioning, Gallant and Margolin suggests using the timer trick even before a tantrum begins.
“You’re going to let them push that button to start the timer because it feels like it’s their decision,” said Margolin, who explained that this method keeps toddlers feeling like they’re involved and in control. “When the timer goes off, have your toddler push the off button. This can work like magic instead of them fighting back.”
To get your kid to stop doing bothersome behaviors to get your attention, like whining, poking and pinching, give them the positive attention they crave. View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Toddler Experts (@biglittlefeelings) on Jun 29, 2020 at 10:40am PDT
Margolin and Gallant suggests to carve out 10 focused minutes, let your toddler pick a name for this special time, then give them all your love and attention. If you do this every day, they begin to expect it. By filling up what Margolin and Gallant call your toddlers’ “attention tanks” in a positive way (as opposed to lashing out), they will no longer feel a need to do those annoying things to get your attention.
To avoid bedtime battles, have your child build or draw a chart of the steps they need to do before bed and let them choose the order. MORE: Momtroversy: Kids with no bedtimes
MORE: Momtroversy: Kids with no bedtimes
Then, Margolin and Gallant suggest you carry out those things in that order, which makes them feel like they’re making their own decisions. After each task is done on their list, put a sticker or checkmark next to it — this makes it feel like you’ve made a game out of preparing for bedtime. MORE: Momtroversy: Kids with no bedtimes
Margolin and Gallant’s final tip is for toddlers who don’t want to take liquid medicine. They understand how difficult that can get. So, to make the process a bit easier, they suggest putting some sprinkles in it. The sprinkles sink to the bottom of the cup, which forces them to drink all of the medicine in order to get to them.
A post shared by Toddler Experts (@biglittlefeelings) on Jun 29, 2020 at 10:40am PDT
Margolin and Gallant suggests to carve out 10 focused minutes, let your toddler pick a name for this special time, then give them all your love and attention. If you do this every day, they begin to expect it. By filling up what Margolin and Gallant call your toddlers’ “attention tanks” in a positive way (as opposed to lashing out), they will no longer feel a need to do those annoying things to get your attention.
To avoid bedtime battles, have your child build or draw a chart of the steps they need to do before bed and let them choose the order. View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Toddler Experts (@biglittlefeelings) on Apr 18, 2020 at 9:20am PDT View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Toddler Experts (@biglittlefeelings) on May 4, 2020 at 8:35am PDT
Then, Margolin and Gallant suggest you carry out those things in that order, which makes them feel like they’re making their own decisions. After each task is done on their list, put a sticker or checkmark next to it — this makes it feel like you’ve made a game out of preparing for bedtime.MORE: Momtroversy: Kids with no bedtimes
Margolin and Gallant’s final tip is for toddlers who don’t want to take liquid medicine. They understand how difficult that can get. So, to make the process a bit easier, they suggest putting some sprinkles in it. The sprinkles sink to the bottom of the cup, which forces them to drink all of the medicine in order to get to them.
Note: Pediatrician Tips is strictly a news and information website about pediatrics. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your pediatrician, physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition for any person. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not always those of Pediatrician Tips and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pediatrics and pediatricians.
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